i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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