I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
