i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
