she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
