I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize