Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
