She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
