What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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