yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
