just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
