I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
as a side note pls kill me
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
