Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
