Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
