Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
FUCK WHALES
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
