rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
