you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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