Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
