Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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