Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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