If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
