did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
