So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
