Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
