i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
