why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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