i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
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