is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I am naked and annoyed.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
