Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
