The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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