there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
