when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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