my room smells like sperm. sweet.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
