mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
