I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So here I am, sexting at work.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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