yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
