I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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