Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
