apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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