She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The power of my boobs compel you
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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