dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
