forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
