it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
