Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
