i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
