I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
