so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
