I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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