Where is the hickey?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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