do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
