Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
