This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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