loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
be right there i have to get my cape
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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