"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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