CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Terrible idea I love it
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
