before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
