How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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