a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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