Whod you bang
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize