I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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