part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i need some magic done to my vagina
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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