I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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