I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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